Making Choices at Crossroads

Many a times in life, we all reach crossroads. We end up having to choose between two paths. Which path is better? What is the definition of better anyway?

I have come across a lot of articles and books telling us to not worry too much about which is the right choice, because there is no one right choice and that we can learn and grow from each choice. Be that as it may, the fact remains we all want to make a good choice, one that we can justify to ourselves later on when things don’t go as expected.

Here I have a list of questions I have asked myself when trying to make a choice. You may find it useful. While it may not necessarily result in the best decision (because it is true, there are no best decisions, only those that you can live with), it will give you reasons which you can remind yourself of if/when you question the decision.

What feels right? What does your gut say? Very often I find that our gut instincts are right about something.

What are your core defining values? What values/ideals do you hold dear?

What is it that you ultimately hope to gain from each option? Which ultimate end can you live with or want more?

Which choice is aligned more to your true nature? Examine your true nature.

Are you leaning toward a particular option because society expects it of you or because you expect it of yourself?

Related to that, are you expecting something of yourself because you think that is the right way to be or is it your true nature?

Does this option need you to step out of your comfort zone or rather does it require you to act against your fundamental nature?

Stepping out of your comfort zone promotes growth and that is good, but changing your very nature is not sustainable in the long run. For example, if you are just not someone who is comfortable with numbers, you cannot take a job as an accountant just because it is lucrative and it provides good career prospects. There is a fine line between comfort zone and true nature.

There would be many other questions you yourself will come up with once you start on it. One thing I have learnt is that you cannot be happy with a choice that goes against your true nature and your core values. Figure those out first.

At the end of the day, no matter what you choose, there will be doubts about whether you took the right decision. This is known as “post-decision dissonance” and is completely normal. In response to this our mind starts thinking of reasons why we made this choice. It helps to have already gone through this process so that the reasons are handy.

A favourite author of mine, Gretchen Rubin, says “You Can Choose What You Do, But You Can’t Choose What You Like To Do”.

With that happy choosing, folks 🙂

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3 Comments

Filed under Life is Awesome

3 responses to “Making Choices at Crossroads

  1. Hi, Just came across your blog and this post which is really thoughtful.
    One thought that I would like to add is that at every crossroad when you are confronted with two options,there will be total confusion superficially, on the outside,but deep inside you will know what you want to choose, what you really want.
    All you need is to dig deeper, understand and listen to yourself better and muster up the courage to take that decision and be confident about it.

    and your name caught my attention. I am Preeti too;)

  2. Pingback: Possibilities- Life is full of them! | mindurspirit

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