Monthly Archives: October 2013

Stop planning already…LIVE!

Planning a wedding is a surefire way of learning that Life never goes according to plan.

I got married almost three years ago so those days are well in the past for me. But with my third wedding anniversary around the corner and my brother-in-law planning his wedding, I got to thinking about weddings…

We so called Bridezillas spend so many hours and days fretting over so many details that we think are so absolutely critical to that perfect day, we terrorize our loved ones, especially our groom (who may be re-considering his proposal, poor chap), get meltdowns over makeup, hair and flowers, get panic attacks because we haven’t found that perfect dress yet and so on. Ah yes, those were the days…I dimly recall my own panic attacks over having to book a new makeup artist 2 months short of my wedding date!

Even on the day itself, I was running around getting things organized until my makeup artist told me to get my ass into the dressing room ’cause she needs her 2 hours of prep time. My control freak ass barely sat still- Thank God for my best friend who was right there to calm me down (and do my running around for me!).

Anyway long story short, apart from a few hiccups, things went fairly smooth that day. I don’t think the guests noticed all the imperfections that I noticed.

Thats how Life is as well. Other people don’t notice the imperfections in our life as much as we do. We plan plan and plan, then fret endlessly because things aren’t perfect. But perhaps it’s good to remember our wedding day-things may not go according to plan exactly, but more or less things turn out fine in the end. In the meantime, we should enjoy the process and the moments (be it Life or the wedding day or whichever event).

Because when the day is over, there will be no do-overs. You don’t get to experience it again in the same way, know what I mean? If it’s been a terrible day for whatever reason, then – phew, glad it’s over! If it’s been a good day, then you’ll be glad you enjoyed it because you were totally in the present enjoying the moments as they came.

So don’t bother with that 5-yr Life plan… mostly likely it won’t work out the way you saw it… Live today well to the best of your ability and go from there.

Here’s to enjoyable moments for all of you…


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Letting go and finding peace

It has been a while since I last blogged. Things got a bit hectic and blogging unfortunately got left in the back burner for a little too long. It’s always tough to get back in sync when you have been out of it for too long…But here I am again, trying to get back in the flow…

Recently, I have taken up meditation in order to feel more calm and manage stress better. I attended a 4 week course on it and I must say I really enjoyed it. It has really helped me become more calm, less anxious about the future, and to respond better to stressors and annoyances.

Meditation is really about mindfullness, about being really in the present moment and being aware of yourself. Being aware of your own behavior, responses and thoughts on a day to day basis is also part of the whole mindfulness thing.

My meditation teacher told us that “Peace is in the same place as your suffering. When you accept, peace takes its place”. I didnt really get it when she said it, I was skeptical, I admit.

As the classes progressed and she taught us various techniques about how to let go and accept, I realised how true her statement is.

A large portion of our suffering comes from our unwillingness to let go – of possesions, of pride, of ego, of relationships that are no longer working, of the need to control what happens to us and our loved ones. Hence comes the inevitable suffering as we struggle for control. When we let go and accept what is, peace takes its place in our minds.

We can do what needs to be done, work hard towards our goals and achieve and grow but with an attitude of acceptance and peace, where we do not try to control the outcome, or become upset when things don’t go according to plan.

A lot of the time, when we are upset about something and we search for the root cause of it, it will likely come back to our own self, our need to look good, our need to keep up our ego, our need to fufill certain desires, our need to control, etc…

And so I have been trying to practice this in past few weeks. I must confess I am not always so patient or tolerant and have lapses, but I do notice a significant change to the way I respond to what happens around me and to me. I react less harshly and am able to let small things pass me by. It is so much more better for my peace of mind to be this way. There is less internal stuggle and more contentment.

Meditation helps to release any pent up emotions or angst that you may have inside of you. It’s like weeding your garden. Your mind is a beautiful garden and you have to make sure to regularly get out the weeds so that the flowers can bloom. Cheesy as it may sound, its true!

In the beginning, it will be tough to sit still and focus your mind but the trick is not to force it. The mind is a tricky thing-it will only do what you tell it not to do! With practice, however, it will get easier and you will see the benefits.

Here’s to peace for all of you…


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