So lately I haven’t been feeling too happy. There is something missing in my days. Everything is a bland routine. The weekdays come and they go, the weekends come and yes I do have some fun, and they go by as well. The days go by but really what are they made of? What do I do that is meaningful? Lately, I have been harping on things a lot. All the things that I am dissatisfied about are coming up repeatedly. I suspect it’s these things that keep me unhappy. There is not much I can do right now to fix any of these things. Drastic actions and decisions have never helped. So I am not doing any of that. But the alternative is inaction, to do nothing while everything remains unsatisfactory. I am supposed to have faith in the Universe and trust that all things will fall into place at the right time and everything will turn out OK. But I am often afraid that this may not be true and that the end result will just be that I wasted time doing nothing. Does that even make sense?
Because at this point in Life, for certain situations I am facing now (I won’t go into the gory details now), I simply do not know what the right solution is. I am not sure what the right decision is.
I also have so much resentment and frustration. There have been a couple of things that have not been working out for me for the past 3-4 years and it’s all adding up. There is a constant ever-present conflict. I strive all the time to be content but it is a constant battle. They say you can make your Life out to be the way you want it to be. It is not true. We do not have the power to influence certain circumstances. We can only change our inner attitude towards our circumstances. This is the journey I am on. To constantly fight the resentments and frustrations that nose into my thoughts.
To be honest, I admit my issues are first world problems, and those living in poverty and starvation will not be impressed by my frustrations. But that is the problem with the human ego isn’t it? When our basic needs are met, we aspire towards higher fulfilment. And the more we have, the more we want, because there is always a next level to aspire to – it never ends. I so desperately want to be content with what I have. But I feel if I don’t keep aspiring to things, I will not grow and my life will stagnate. So I feel I must keep trying… And in this process, there is so much conflict and frustration…
Strangely, after writing all this, I feel better. Nothing has changed, but I feel better about it. No wonder they say writing is good for the spirit. I need to write more!
So… On that note….
Things that make me happy
Well brewed coffee
Devious maids episodes – I am officially addicted
Time with friends
Getting dressed up and going out
Lazy Sunday afternoons (with Devious Maids episodes of course!)
Friends getting married!
Monthly Musings is where every start of the month, I muse about different topics and answer 3 questions about myself. Readers, feel free to answer those same questions in the comments section or on your own blog. Do let me know about it if you post it on your blog so I can have fun reading it!
1. At what age did you have your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nineteen. What? Gosh, nooo, seriously? Really, yea. Got married to him too. I guess I am lucky, really; not many people get married to the first person they fall in love with. Got to be grateful for little blessings like these.
2. What relation do you not have but wish you had?
I wish I could have had an older sibling, someone within the family I can look up to for guidance and friendship. I am the eldest sibling, and have always had the burden of being the “responsible” one. But anyways, I am glad for the siblings I do have. But this just a random thought I get sometimes…
3. If you could resume an old relationship that you have let drift, what would that be?
There were a couple of really good friends I had in secondary school. While I am still friends with them on Facebook, I am not exactly close to them in real life anymore. But we used to be pretty good friends, so I wish I could have maintained that friendship better. But oh well, it happens in life, very often without really intending to, people do drift apart.
Do let me know if you have any fun or interesting questions for me to answer at my next Monthly Musings in September!
Monthly Musings- July
Having lots of siblings is like having built-in best friends.
Source: Brainy Quotes
My brother, me and my sister with our mum
I got to thinking the other day what it would be like not to have siblings. Frankly, it’ll be boring, not to mention lonely growing up! They are the ones who add colour to your growing-up days. You boss them around, you get bossed around (even if you are the elder one, trust me!), you tell on them, get told on, fight, laugh, play and cry with them. These are the shared experiences you never really forget. They shape the memories of your childhood. For the most part, they form one of our strongest support systems as we grow older. It’s so easy to take them for granted- yea, came with the deal, an add-on to the family, no biggie. But no!
Not everyone has siblings and most of them will tell you they wish they had. Things you can’t tell your parents you could confide in them (after the telling-on phase passes of course!), they are an extra listening ear with the added benefit of knowing your full history and family situation – they just get it.
So go call up your sibling today and let them know how much you appreciate them! Or if you don’t have that kind of touchy-feely relationship with them – just give them a buzz to ask how they are, to show we care, because so often we forget to show it.
Daily Prompt Nomadic lifestyle or home base?
As much as a part of me would like the excitement of being a nomad moving from country to country and taking in each culture, I think I am really more of a hometown gal. I need the stability and comfort of a home base. A place where I go back to everyday and I know it will be there waiting for me patiently and warmly. Does that make sense?
What I am trying to say is home to me is where the people I love are, where my support systems are, a place where I can always rely on to make me feel better and where I can let my guard down and relax completely. A nomadic lifestyle may not allow me to bring all my loved ones with me wherever I go (gosh I am such a baby!) and I just can’t imagine not seeing these people for extended periods of time.
So for me, I will just stick to the travelling that I do 2-3 times a year to feed the wanderlust beast. Other times it’s the comfort of home for me.