Tag Archives: goals

The list never ends…

When we start stacking up our desires and making lists of what we want it becomes endless. Somehow there is always more things we want out of Life.

Modern life is so cluttered with material attractions, competition and expectations that we impose them on ourselves and somehow get lost in the feeling that we need this or that to live a good life.

So many of us put such pressure on ourselves to achieve wealth, status and success as pre-determined by society. When did it get to a point when someone else was an authority on what is a successful life for me? When did I get to the point where I let someone else’s ambitions become a template for my own?

I started questioning and realised that I get to choose what constitutes contentment and happiness for myself. The trick is not to allow others to make you feel bad for the choices you make. To not allow myself to get pressured about situations that are beyond my control.

Its easier said than done and I have to keep reminding myself to keep my priorities straight. It is a constant practice.

Practice does make perfect, though.

Keep on practicing!

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Trusting the Universe is hard

So lately I haven’t been feeling too happy. There is something missing in my days. Everything is a bland routine. The weekdays come and they go, the weekends come and yes I do have some fun, and they go by as well. The days go by but really what are they made of? What do I do that is meaningful? Lately, I have been harping on things a lot. All the things that I am dissatisfied about are coming up repeatedly. I suspect it’s these things that keep me unhappy. There is not much I can do right now to fix any of these things. Drastic actions and decisions have never helped. So I am not doing any of that. But the alternative is inaction, to do nothing while everything remains unsatisfactory. I am supposed to have faith in the Universe and trust that all things will fall into place at the right time and everything will turn out OK. But I am often afraid that this may not be true and that the end result will just be that I wasted time doing nothing. Does that even make sense?

Because at this point in Life, for certain situations I am facing now (I won’t go into the gory details now), I simply do not know what the right solution is. I am not sure what the right decision is.

I also have so much resentment and frustration. There have been a couple of things that have not been working out for me for the past 3-4 years and it’s all adding up. There is a constant ever-present conflict. I strive all the time to be content but it is a constant battle. They say you can make your Life out to be the way you want it to be. It is not true. We do not have the power to influence certain circumstances. We can only change our inner attitude towards our circumstances. This is the journey I am on. To constantly fight the resentments and frustrations that nose into my thoughts.

To be honest, I admit my issues are first world problems, and those living in poverty and starvation will not be impressed by my frustrations. But that is the problem with the human ego isn’t it? When our basic needs are met, we aspire towards higher fulfilment. And the more we have, the more we want, because there is always a next level to aspire to – it never ends. I so desperately want to be content with what I have. But I feel if I don’t keep aspiring to things, I will not grow and my life will stagnate. So I feel I must keep trying… And in this process, there is so much conflict and frustration…

Strangely, after writing all this, I feel better. Nothing has changed, but I feel better about it. No wonder they say writing is good for the spirit. I need to write more!

So… On that note….

Things that make me happy
Family
Well brewed coffee
Aromatherapy soap
Pasta
Moscato
Devious maids episodes – I am officially addicted
Time with friends
Getting dressed up and going out
Lazy Sunday afternoons (with Devious Maids episodes of course!)
Friends getting married!

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It is about the Journey, not the Destination

There is a time and a place for everything in Life. When you really think about it, there is no real joy in rushing from milestone to milestone so fast, achieving all our heart’s desires quickly and immediately. Soon we may run out of meaningful experiences. We have to live Life at the pace that is right for us. When we are raring to go forward all the time we miss the scenery; we miss all the little things that also matter along the way, the experiences that will shape us into who we should be.

I am often impatient for things to move along and to achieve certain goals. I can’t wait for “life to begin”. And then sometimes, it hits me with the force of a cosmic speeding train. This is Life and I am already living it. And this precious precious time I have in my hands now is for me to make use of it and to enjoy! Because I will never get this portion of time back; once I have achieved my “goals”, then what? The next goal, right? There will always be that next thing you want in life.

I mean, it’s great to have goals in life, it gives us purpose and something to strive towards and yada yada… All that is good stuff. BUT. I forget to live in the here and now. I forget to enjoy the reality I have now. Because there are good things here already, much that I have already achieved, goals already ticked off; these things tend to be forgotten once achieved. I am living a life of “Strive, Tick, Done, Next”. Not good. I want to remind myself everyday to be grateful for what I do have now and not fret for the things that I don’t yet have.

All good things will fall into place with consistent effort and a positive attitude.

So while I strive and work towards my goals, each time there is a setback or difficulty, I promise to myself that I will stop and think of all that I have already achieved and all there is to enjoy right now. This especially comes in handy when certain things are not in our control. There will always be factors that we are unable to control. It just becomes painful when we refuse to accept that some things are simply not in our hands. We can only do what is within our ability to control.

Then there is the thief of all joy: Comparison. We constantly benchmark ourselves against our peers. It is an unusually cruel and painful practice we inflict upon ourselves, I think. Yet I do it all the time. Unconsciously it slips in and settles comfortably in the corners of my mind breeding resentment and discontent. And then I catch myself doing it and I kick the beast out! No way are you sitting there breeding ill-feelings inside my mind. Everybody’s life is different. To someone else looking in, I could be living the dream life. In fact, I have told myself repeatedly, it is a good life that I have, and I will appreciate it! I will not make comparisons and covet what others have. It is the ultimate enemy to happiness.

Life is in the living and not in regretting or fretting. Enjoy the journey, for it matters so much more than the Destination.

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Time

Time is a funny thing. Most of us generally take it for granted. Yup, it’s there and it’s trudging along. We rush about checking the time at several points, trying to get our tasks done. Or sometimes, we keep checking it to see if enough has gone by yet in anticipation of something we are looking forward to. Sometimes, we simply can’t wait for large chunks of it to pass by so that we get what we want. Do we realise that Time is pretty much the only resource we can never get back once spent?

hourglass

I have been thinking about how we are constantly racing with Time to get to the next thing in our lives. The next job, the next promotion, the next purchase, the next project, the next whatever… Ok, I will speak for myself then. Without quite being conscious of it, my mind constantly keeps jumping to what’s next? I wait so long for one thing to happen, then, when it has happened, I am like “What is next?!”. I suppose it is the fundamental human need to keep growing, spiritually and mentally. It is what keeps us moving forward and that is how a lot of the good inventions have come about, no doubt. But on a personal level, I think I really should remain present more, appreciate my current status more and stop obsessing about the future and my plans for it. But it is so hard! I want to know what is coming, I want to grab hold and shape the (my) future.

But recently, I have tried to let go. To do what I can in the present and let what happens, happen. I am trying to view my future as the unread portion of a novel. I don’t know what’s coming and I can’t flip to the end to read; so I will just have to live it out, won’t I? There are literally a thousand and one things that can happen in life. We are really not sure what’s coming. That’s where Faith has to step in and give us the wisdom that whatever happens, we will know how to handle it. Good or bad.

Remaining firmly in the present is the only way to stop the obsession from taking over and making you cuckoo with anxiety. If not, it will be one nasty vicious cycle of constantly thinking “What’s Next?”. We get to appreciate Time more when we remain in the present.

That said, Life is all about “What’s Next”. Because without that something, we are not moving forward. We stagnate. My point was just not to obsess about it and get too caught up in achieving all your goals in a certain pre-dictated time frame. Let’s give ourselves a break, shall we?

Just because January has come around again, is no reason to get frustrated that you have undone resolutions still on the plate, or disappointed that you did not achieve certain goals. I mean you must have tried, surely, feeble attempts all inclusive. So continue your efforts, keep going for whatever it is that you want. With enough Faith and work on your part, what is meant to be will happen in its Own Time! The Universe’s concept of Time is vastly different from ours and the thing is, the Universe is in charge of this thing called Time; not us, unfortunately. I am a great believer in the saying “Everything has its Time and place”. I just have trouble keeping that in mind!

With Patience, Faith and Diligence, your Life will unfold in all its wonderful flaws and beauty, just the way it’s supposed to. Because, you see, in the end, it will all have worked out fine. You just didn’t know it back then.

Our job, therefore, is to enjoy the present, have faith in the future and not fret about the past.

Happy 2015…

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The Importance of Not Giving Up

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison
One of my favorite quotes from a great scientist. In life you have to keep trying again and again, even if sometimes you just don’t feel like carrying on. This is not to say you should bang your head against a wall knowing you are not going to crack it (the wall, that is). When you feel in your gut that this is the right path, or this is the goal you know you want to reach and it is somehow possible to achieve, go for it. You may fail, chances are high even, but that should not stop you. TRY and try again if you have to.

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